Tie Your Camel

Some of you may know Daniel Hannan as a bit of a viral sensation. He’s filmed aggressively attacking Gordon Brown and Labour and it gains massive popularity on the internet. Others may know him as a bit of a blaggard who make some hilariously poor judgement calls, e.g. lavishing praise on Iceland’s ‘economic miracle’.

He’s been on a couple of US shows as a result of his Youtube popularity and now, it seems, they want to bring him out whenever they want to use the UK as a negative example. If you’ve been watching the health debacle in the US for the last few months, you’ll hear some crazy things. Like nationalised health care will lead to ‘death panels’ and old people and the disabled will get bumped off. You even had the Invester’s Business Weekly claim that if Stephen Hawking was British or was treated in Britain, he never would have survived this long. Rubbish of course for people who know that Hawking was British, is British and owes a great deal to the NHS which he has recently praised for keeping him alive. Still, look not to US right-wing media for accuracy.

So, they wheel on Dan Hannan who loves every minute of it. You can see him on the verge of yipping in the video below. ‘Oh it’s an honour to be on your show’. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. He spends his time on the show talking about how terrible the NHS is and, as a result, is going to be serving as a propaganda mouth piece for the American right-wing for the foreseeable future. Here he is fellating the ego of Glenn Beck who is probably certifiably insane.

Luckily this does have some repercussions. David Cameron has publicly rebuked him for his comments and, now, it is unlikely Hannan can climb the political crapheap into a useful office. In a ridiculous twist, some incredibly silly right-wing commentators – like Cavuto of  ’Is X democrat looking to kill us all?’-style fame – are going as far as wishing he’ll end up as Prime Minister.

Idiom the Second

Notching the Boat to Find the Sword (Lit. ‘Carve boat seek sword’)

During the Warring States period, a man in the Kingdom of Chu had a beautiful sword which he loved dearly. One day, while on a river in a boat, the sword somehow dropped off the boat and fell into the river. The man came up with a clever idea: he made a notch on the side of the boat at the spot where the sword fell overboard. When the boat reached the shore, he jumped from the boat around the area where he made the notch and started searching the water for his beloved sword.

Meaning of the idiom:  Those who follow rigid rules will not always logically apply them or will apply them in a stupid manner.

Idiom the First

Calling a Stag a Horse (Lit. ‘Point deer as/is  horse’)

Story behind the idiom:

During the reign of the second emperor of the Qin Dynasty (Qin Er Shi), his chief minister, a eunuch called Zhao Gao, exerted great influence over the court. He started to plot to usurp the throne. Fearing that other ministers would oppose this, he readied a test for them.

When they were assembled in front of the emperor, he brought out a deer as a gift and said “This is a horse.”

The emperor laughed, and replied “You must be joking; this is a deer!”

Zhao turned to the ministers and said “Well, tell the Emperor… is this a deer or a horse?”

Some ministers kept silent, some said that it was a deer and others agreed that it was indeed a horse. Those who hadn’t called it a horse were promptly executed

Meaning of the Idiom: Distorting facts, calling black white and white black.

Laces out... THE LACES WERE IN!

Apparently Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite. Cue the usual puns (’Poke ‘is face’?) – time for most of us manly men to start chewing gum I guess. If it’s true, and she’s apparently admitted as much in a blogpost, then she’s dealing with it well and raising awareness; more power to her I guess.

She’s still pretty hot… right guys?

*Update* – Been looking around a while now for confirmation, but it seems like the supposed blogpost she wrote about the subject is unsourced and that this may be pure speculation. Quelle surprise!

Oh God, I'm HARDtalking!

If you’re outside the United Kingdom, you may not be able to watch the video in this link, and if you are in the UK I’m not sure how long the link will remain active on BBC iPlayer, so get it while you still can! Livingstone is being interviewed by Stephen Shakur. It’s well-worth watching; Ken defends his tenure as Mayor and current & former stances on the labour party with his usual wry wit. Shakur is unable to crack him, even on the Chavez issue.

Looks like Ken’ll be running in 2012 then!

Click on the picture to the right to view the video on BBC iPlayer.

'A fool and his money are easily parted'

Seriously. The 32 gig unlocked model is being sold for £900 on play.com. Amazon’s not that much better at £850. If you’re that desperate to get it unlocked, you could always shop around. An e-bay seller (not me, I swears it gov), is offering it for £675 unlocked with free postage and packing. That’s £225 saved after a two minutes search. Amazon Marketplace is offering it for £635 from a seemingly-trustworthy seller.

But why stop there? O2 is selling the most decent basic contract (600 minutes, 500 texts and unlimited internet) for about £35 a month with an initial cost of £275 for the phone (18-month contract). This means that for the phone and the 18-month contract you will pay a total of  £905. That’s right. You can get the iPhone and an 18-month contract for about the same price as the unlocked handset on Play.com. Even if you buy the handset from Amazon.com marketplace, you’d be able to get the phone and 10 months of the O2 contract for the same price.

Or how about O2 pay as you go? It’s being sold by O2 for £538 pounds. With a top-up of £10 a month (and the £10 a month for internet, free for the first year), you could pay for about two full years pay & go for the price you’d pay on play.com for the unlocked phone.

Is it really worth it, even when not considering the myriad alternatives to working around a locked iPhone?

I remember hearing ‘Don’t upset the rythm’ in the background of some advert (probably a car ad) and thinking I might like to hear the whole song. So I went to YouTube to find a little preview and stumbled upon this:

I can imagine them being really good live. The singing’s not as processed as I originally believed.

Well I think this theme is alright, but I’ll be customising it as I plough ahead. I’m working on my own custom theme at the moment but I don’t know when (or if) that’ll get off the ground. So my adoring audience of precisely 0, fret not!

I guess this is probably the most opportune time to explyouain the title of this blog. It is not, as you might imagine, a blog dedicated to beautiful camels engaging in kinky S&M. If that’s what you came here to see, get back on the internet and go to www.idesperatelyneedhelp.com. The phrase is a snippet from an Arabic Islamic saying that goes “Trust in God, but always tie up your camel!”.

Now I tend to shy away from terrible stereotypes, but back in 7th Century Mecca, you would have loved to own a camel. You see, camels are wonderful creatures, perfect for desert travelling. If you didn’t breed them, you’d have probably paid quite a bit of money for them.

One day a man ran up to the Islamic Prophet Muhammad and said “O Prophet, I’m a good Muslim. I do everything required of me by God and then some.” The prophet praised the man for his fastidiousness and piety. The man continued, “Well, O Prophet, I do all this and I trust fully in God. When I went to the market today, I recited a prayer and asked God to please look after my camel while I shopped. I left the camel there and went to shop. When I returned, the camel was gone! Why didn’t God keep my camel safe?”

The Prophet chuckled and replied “Brother, it is good that you trust in God… but always tie up your camel!”

The moral of the story is: Faith is great, but at least take basic precautions or “God helps those who help themselves”.

Ever since my father told me about it, I’ve loved it and I use it on a daily basis. Makes a great blog title .

This blog is currently undergoing some major reconstructive surgery omg.