The Cake Is A Lie

I sometimes get mildly irritated when someone says ‘You just want to have your cake and eat it’. Well of course I do! I presumably have the cake because I want to ruddy eat it. I don’t buy a cake to stare at it longingly and whisper sweet nothings into its icing.

Someone brought this expression up recently (or I’ve just decided to blog about it and I’m using ’someone’ as a subtle narrative device) and I explained it to him as I have done to anyone else I’ve encountered: it’s better said ‘to eat your cake and have it (too)’. This is not something hard to discover on a quick google search. Wikipedia’s got an explanation here, the choice bits being:

The phrase’s earliest recording is from 1546 as “wolde you bothe eate your cake, and have your cake?” (John Heywood’s ‘A dialogue Conteinyng the Nomber in Effect of All the Prouerbes in the Englishe Tongue’) alluding to the impossibility of eating your cake and still having it afterwards; the modern version (where the clauses are reversed) is a corruption which was first signaled in 1812.

So remember – from now on impress your friends and family and become the life of parties everywhere by saying “eat your cake and have it” and then deconstruct the inevitable surely-you-means that will follow. Or play New Super Mario Bros Wii instead (why not eat your cake and have it by doing both?).

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1) Hadeeth: ‘Be wise [first] and [then] trust [in God]‘ :

A3qil wa tawkkl.

2) Arabic Proverb: ‘Trust in God but tie up your camel’:

Thiq billah wa lakin irbiT jamalek

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Idiom the Third

Plugging One’s Ears While Stealing a Bell (Lit. ‘Cover ears steal bell’)

Story behind the idiom: During the Spring and Autumn Period, a man in the Kingdom of Jin took a liking to a bell and decided to steal it. The bell was very large and heavy, so he decided to smash it to pieces with a hammer and take it with him in bits. Fearing that he might be heard when the hammer struck the bell, he covered his ears and started to smash up the bell.

Meaning of idiom: used to describe those who think they are smart but deceive themselves.

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Idiom the Second

Notching the Boat to Find the Sword (Lit. ‘Carve boat seek sword’)

During the Warring States period, a man in the Kingdom of Chu had a beautiful sword which he loved dearly. One day, while on a river in a boat, the sword somehow dropped off the boat and fell into the river. The man came up with a clever idea: he made a notch on the side of the boat at the spot where the sword fell overboard. When the boat reached the shore, he jumped from the boat around the area where he made the notch and started searching the water for his beloved sword.

Meaning of the idiom:  Those who follow rigid rules will not always logically apply them or will apply them in a stupid manner.

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Idiom the First

Calling a Stag a Horse (Lit. ‘Point deer as/is  horse’)

Story behind the idiom:

During the reign of the second emperor of the Qin Dynasty (Qin Er Shi), his chief minister, a eunuch called Zhao Gao, exerted great influence over the court. He started to plot to usurp the throne. Fearing that other ministers would oppose this, he readied a test for them.

When they were assembled in front of the emperor, he brought out a deer as a gift and said “This is a horse.”

The emperor laughed, and replied “You must be joking; this is a deer!”

Zhao turned to the ministers and said “Well, tell the Emperor… is this a deer or a horse?”

Some ministers kept silent, some said that it was a deer and others agreed that it was indeed a horse. Those who hadn’t called it a horse were promptly executed

Meaning of the Idiom: Distorting facts, calling black white and white black.

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