The Cake Is A Lie

I sometimes get mildly irritated when someone says ‘You just want to have your cake and eat it’. Well of course I do! I presumably have the cake because I want to ruddy eat it. I don’t buy a cake to stare at it longingly and whisper sweet nothings into its icing.

Someone brought this expression up recently (or I’ve just decided to blog about it and I’m using ’someone’ as a subtle narrative device) and I explained it to him as I have done to anyone else I’ve encountered: it’s better said ‘to eat your cake and have it (too)’. This is not something hard to discover on a quick google search. Wikipedia’s got an explanation here, the choice bits being:

The phrase’s earliest recording is from 1546 as “wolde you bothe eate your cake, and have your cake?” (John Heywood’s ‘A dialogue Conteinyng the Nomber in Effect of All the Prouerbes in the Englishe Tongue’) alluding to the impossibility of eating your cake and still having it afterwards; the modern version (where the clauses are reversed) is a corruption which was first signaled in 1812.

So remember – from now on impress your friends and family and become the life of parties everywhere by saying “eat your cake and have it” and then deconstruct the inevitable surely-you-means that will follow. Or play New Super Mario Bros Wii instead (why not eat your cake and have it by doing both?).

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1) Hadeeth: ‘Be wise [first] and [then] trust [in God]‘ :

A3qil wa tawkkl.

2) Arabic Proverb: ‘Trust in God but tie up your camel’:

Thiq billah wa lakin irbiT jamalek

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Idiom the Third

Plugging One’s Ears While Stealing a Bell (Lit. ‘Cover ears steal bell’)

Story behind the idiom: During the Spring and Autumn Period, a man in the Kingdom of Jin took a liking to a bell and decided to steal it. The bell was very large and heavy, so he decided to smash it to pieces with a hammer and take it with him in bits. Fearing that he might be heard when the hammer struck the bell, he covered his ears and started to smash up the bell.

Meaning of idiom: used to describe those who think they are smart but deceive themselves.

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Idiom the Second

Notching the Boat to Find the Sword (Lit. ‘Carve boat seek sword’)

During the Warring States period, a man in the Kingdom of Chu had a beautiful sword which he loved dearly. One day, while on a river in a boat, the sword somehow dropped off the boat and fell into the river. The man came up with a clever idea: he made a notch on the side of the boat at the spot where the sword fell overboard. When the boat reached the shore, he jumped from the boat around the area where he made the notch and started searching the water for his beloved sword.

Meaning of the idiom:  Those who follow rigid rules will not always logically apply them or will apply them in a stupid manner.

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I guess this is probably the most opportune time to explyouain the title of this blog. It is not, as you might imagine, a blog dedicated to beautiful camels engaging in kinky S&M. If that’s what you came here to see, get back on the internet and go to www.idesperatelyneedhelp.com. The phrase is a snippet from an Arabic Islamic saying that goes “Trust in God, but always tie up your camel!”.

Now I tend to shy away from terrible stereotypes, but back in 7th Century Mecca, you would have loved to own a camel. You see, camels are wonderful creatures, perfect for desert travelling. If you didn’t breed them, you’d have probably paid quite a bit of money for them.

One day a man ran up to the Islamic Prophet Muhammad and said “O Prophet, I’m a good Muslim. I do everything required of me by God and then some.” The prophet praised the man for his fastidiousness and piety. The man continued, “Well, O Prophet, I do all this and I trust fully in God. When I went to the market today, I recited a prayer and asked God to please look after my camel while I shopped. I left the camel there and went to shop. When I returned, the camel was gone! Why didn’t God keep my camel safe?”

The Prophet chuckled and replied “Brother, it is good that you trust in God… but always tie up your camel!”

The moral of the story is: Faith is great, but at least take basic precautions or “God helps those who help themselves”.

Ever since my father told me about it, I’ve loved it and I use it on a daily basis. Makes a great blog title .

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